Writing about Writing or alternatively The Story of My Stories

Also called 'The Story of my Writing' or 'Writing about my Stories'

This is a series of vignettes, which started as separate thoughts and ended up stringing themselves together like a garland.  I apologize for keeping you.  I’ve always got something to say, but I’d be speechless with appreciation if my chatter is worth your attention.

ON GRAMMAR

I feel very strongly about the rules of grammar: we should all use them.  Writing loses its credibility when sentences are unstructured and juvenile.  What you have to say could be the most intelligent and insightful thing I’ve ever heard, but I won’t trust it if it sounds written by an ESL middle schooler.  Irreverence toward grammar is unforgivable.  

The pun isn't even about grammar,
but that doesn't make it any less true.

Stylistically sidestepping the rules is another matter.  When I’m writing creatively I prefer winding run-ons that wrap around themselves like ribbons spinning from a spool.  I’ll use every splashy adjective in the rainbow to modify my subject, squish a verb for every step of an octave into my predicate, and adorn my objects and complements with description till they collapse like Charlie Brown’s Christmas tree.  I make up phrases and skip in circles around what I’m actually saying so you’ll start to hear my words in my own voice, smiling with each syllable.

This brings me one step forward, two steps and a Maxie turn sideways to my next point.

ON THE PRETTINESS OF WORDS

I swoon over pretty words like I swoon over nothing else, except perhaps the climax of Ralph Vaughan Williams’s Fantasia on a Theme.  

A word could be aesthetically pretty, like whimsical or cacophony, or it could be symbolically pretty, like elysian or scintillating.  Oh, tell me I’m scintillating and I’m yours forever.  

Pretty arrangements of words stop my heart too, and that’s why I love poetry.

look up:and we’ll 

(for what were less than dead)dance,i and you;
high(are become more than alive)above
anybody and fate and even Our 
whisper it Selves but don’t look down and to 

-morrow and yesterday and everything except love

e e cummings

Did you smile?  I outright giggled.  Did you get it?  I sure as hell don’t.  I just love how it makes me feel.  Words make me giddy and weightless.  Any other girl’s heart might skip a beat when a boy smiles at her the right way.  Mine goes when a writer reaches for a pen.  

ON STORYTELLING

The memory I recall is never quite the story that comes out, because stories are different from memories.  I’m the protagonist in my memory, but I’m also the narrator in my story.  Narration provides insight.  The best stories are not memories told precisely as they happened; they're memories that have been best realized.  Take what you remember and figure out what really happened in the world and how it affected everything else.  Like so:

Related:
If I haven’t told you about the horror and the
hilarity of my orchestra years yet, ask me about them. 
In my freshman year of high school, there were 11 lewd,
rough-housing boys, 3 laid-back, lanky drug addicts,
one lesbian, and terrified me. 
It was the worst year of my life. 
I haven’t stopped laughing about it yet.

Before they became the story of how I fell in love with music, my memories of my middle and high school years are those of a brace-faced, socially inept, know-it-all tweenager who wanted to be the best at everything.  It’s only by the grace of God or Beethoven or the Muses that in my crusade to outplay everyone else, I found my life’s calling.  That part, of course, is the romantic story I tell.  No one wants to hear the details of the stick-in-the-mud Hermione part of my life and I hardly even want to remember it, so it gets re-written.

The problem with story-telling is that it’s so easy to replace my memories with my stories.  My 20/20 vision is made hazy by rose-colored glasses, and I live with a permanent filter on reality to keep ugly ideas and pessimistic vultures out.  I erase the errant smears that fall outside the lines of the life-story I’m sketching.  I’m so far past the frontier dividing fact and fiction that I wouldn’t know how to return to a life of veracity if I wanted to.

  

Washington Irving phrased it well: “I am always at a loss to know how much to believe of my own stories.”

ON MY OWN STORY

My story-telling hobby has become such a habit and a heartbeat that I live comfortably in those terms.  I am the main character in my life story, the protagonist in my own bildungsroman.  I don’t mean that in a narcissistic Generation Y way.  Every person has his own nuanced and sensational story.  I happen to be living in this one, and I’m obsessed with appreciating everything and documenting life as it happens.  

"Everything before now, before now,
before now is just a story I carry around."
Chuck Palahniuk

As such, I take a bit of every character with me from everything I read.  I face this daunting, breathtaking, heartbreaking world armed or impaired with Alice’s curiosity, Harry’s selflessness, Elphaba’s defiance, Scout’s sense of justice, Gatsby’s delusions, Piggy’s intellect, Peter’s ignorance, Huck’s humor, and Equality’s ego.  Right now I’m still figuring all the pieces out, but one day I’ll have had enough characterization to be my own complete character.  Or maybe not.  I could go on re-writing and subtly shading myself anew forever.  How should I know?  I’m only in the formative stages of this epic, after all. 

ON THE COVENANT WITH THE AUTHOR

"Blue sky ocean to ocean,
blue ocean sky to sky. "
Rod McKuen

Whether I’m opening a book or an article on Thought Catalog, I’m agreeing to humor the author for a little while.  I will read what he has to say by understanding his words as he means them.  ‘Blue’ may not simply be blue.  ‘Blue’ could be anything from the clouded cobalt of a boy’s pretty eyes to a sunken hue in a midnight sea of sadness.   I try to accept the whole story of the author’s every word.   

Have faith in your narrator.  She’s trying to tell you something worth hearing.  Slip into her brain and hear her story as she means it.  Think in her thoughts, see in her colors, hear the world as it sings to her.  

Buy into my dramatic overreaches and the honest sincerity of my cliches.  Please don’t roll your eyes.  Understand just how genuinely and precisely I mean each nuanced word I choose.  Understand me.  Believe in me. 

“Well, now that we have seen each other," said the unicorn,
 "if you'll believe in me, I'll believe in you.”
Lewis Carroll

Language is just that powerful.  You can use it to let people come so close to you.  To invite someone to inhabit your own mind with you is, I think, the most intimate gesture you could ever make.  

Dear reader, I invite you into my life with each word I write, speak, or sing.  We can revel together in everything the world has to offer.  That’s all I really wanted to tell you: I’m blushing and flattered that you’re here with me.  

Top Twelve Memories of 2012

We all know the entire ordeal of 2012 has been a whirlwind of a time.  Here are things that will make me smile most to look back on:

12) HUSKY HUNT

Some hated the Hunt, some slept through it, and some even went mysteriously missing.  I’m a competitive and enthusiastic person, though, so I took it seriously and went hard, going on a two-hour walk (getting romantic with Meredith under an archway in a park--Sorry, Eric), a six-hour bike ride through Cambridge in the coldest hours of night (spying a rather beautiful sunrise), and a 5-hour walk through Beacon Hill (encountering men dressed as a vampire gangster, a smoking Santa, and a hot dog).  The Rubik’s Cubes (Shannon, LV, Mer, Eric, Laura, Ryan, Al, Andy, Harrison, Joe, Aimee, and myself) did a lot of bonding, invented some creative Lion poses, and placed at a proud 28 out of 50.

11) Fiction of the Year

I need a broad topic to acknowledge a few things I fan-girled over this year: Doctor Who, Rod McKuen’s poetry, and How I Met Your Mother, plus how I reaffirmed my love affair with Harry Potter.  The Whovians of Northeastern (Laura, Lauren Belle, and Mer) turned me onto the BBC show Doctor Who in 2011, but it wasn’t until this year that I watched the 2005 Revival in its entirety.  I am enamored.  Like many, Ten is my favorite Doctor--his cheekiness, arrogance, and scientific, timey-wimey jargon never fail to delight--but I adored Eleven’s relationship with Amy and Rory and cried as though real people died at the end of The Angels Take Manhattan.  Plus, after converting Eric into a more obsessed Whovian than I am, we explored some Scarf-y Fourth Doctor silliness.  It’s an excellent show.  I apologize for losing many of you in that rant.  On a more lovey-dovey note, I fell in even deeper amour 
with the poetry of Rod McKuen.  Don’t take my word for it, just check his books out.  I’ll leave you with some sweet one-liners for inspiration: “I’ll stay awhile / and track the hidden country of your smile,” “I want to see the world within the circle of your arms,” and “You see how easily we fit together, as if God’s own hand had cradled only us.”  Go.  Read.  Bask in the Romance.  Delia and I discovered How I Met Your Mother this year and watch

Character pose!

 every episode together.  It’s our thing.  It’s a brilliantly crafted sitcom that I dwelled on enough in my Broken Jaw post.  Lastly, Andrea, Rebecca, and I rekindled our love for Harry Potter this summer by instating a book and movie club, culminating in a costume party double feature of the 7th and 8th movies: I dressed as Luna, Andrea as Dobby (complete with an authentic pillow case dress), Rebecca as Mad-Eye Moody, and even Jacqui donned feathers and hooted that she was Hedwig.  (Only my character survived.)  Danielle, Paige, and Christina made it to some events, and we even brewed Butterbeer.  Those nights MADE my summer.  

10) Classy Dinner Party

I think that that evening, which preceded Hurricane Monday, is a nice way to commemorate my friendship with the Duplex and generally how wonderful life is with the lovely ladies of WVF616.  My fantastic roomies humored me by helping make high-effort food (a.k.a. it required more work than just microwave preparation), cleaning (you could see the tabletop for the first time in WEEKS), and dressing all fancy for the occasion (not that they needed telling twice, those foxes!).  We had Mer, Belle, LV, Sarah, Laura, Shannon, Chris*, Nick, Charlie, Adam (1), and Adam (2) in attendance.  Lots of inside jokes were born, including those associated with hair gel.

9) North End Adventure

A freshman year classic.  On a whim, Sarah, Meredith, Lauren Belle, and I decided we’d love ourselves some Italian chow for dinner.  No one else was around to invite, so we just set sail for the North End, spawning jokes like “Two ships passing in the night,” Spite houses/babies, and immature playground silliness, in addition to scoring an awesome dinner at Cafe Pompeii.  We still sometimes reference that random adventure, just because it’s such a perfect example of the casual, random craziness of our little group of friends.

8) Sonata Arctica

What would even be the point of a Top 2012 list without the year's top music?  I finally got to see my favorite band in the world (literally, out of all world music), Sonata Arctica, live at the Palladium.  They're a Finnish power metal band that I've been in music love with since I was 16.  Andy took the trek to Worcester with me and we had a good time reconnecting on the long train ride.  Eric was kind enough to chauffeur us around the city, stating plainly that it wasn't a fantastic area to be walking around in at night.  The warm-up acts sucked and the venue was a frigid little cavern, but the band and their loud, melodic music, played at speeds to rival Olympian track runners, lived up to every expectation I've set for them in the last three years.  

7) Family Holidays

I can never stress enough how critical my family is to me every day of my life.  Of course there's my brother, who made me the sweetest Doctor Who themed Christmas card; my sister, who, though full of sass sometimes, still admits to missing me and needing help other times; my dad, who thinks in the same erratic patterns as I do and shares my affinities for coffee, Mulberry Street pizza, and the TNT show Leverage; and my mom, who never stops giving to her children and supports all the endeavors we undertake, from driving to and from rehearsals to cheering on the benches at a freezing November dek hockey game.  

Then, there's all the extended family we see at as many holidays as we can: Nonni, with her world-renowned Christmas cookies; Nonno, with the stern face he wears when he asks about boys; Aunt Terry, who always wore the silly Halloween sweatshirt and socks because I asked her to; Uncle Vic, who teases incessantly; Cassie, who we eagerly catch up with the few times we see her; Bella, who fits in as easily talking with the older cousins as she does making trouble with the little ones; Uncle Ettore, who we always seem to give Pannettone for Christmas; "Uncle" Paul, who said Hermi-one until I corrected him; Aunt Renee, with her sweet smile; crazy Robbie, who hasn't let me hug him since he was 3; Michael, who has not followed in Robbie's footsteps and still smiles for my pictures; Uncle Bruce, who might be the most patient person I've ever met; Aunt Michelle, who designates me babysitter for these holiday gatherings, since being around kids is "the best birth control, and you're old enough to be told this!"; Dario, who has the same voice as Uncle Bruce; Sebastian Pasquale, who's too little to be sassy yet; Uncle Frank, who apparently rolled under a couch as an infant; Uncle Gianni, whose eyes smile when he tells stories about his merry life as a bus driver; (Aunt Maria, who had the heartiest, happiest laughter I ever heard); Uncle Mark, who's young 

enough to make relatable jokes about the craziness of college but also old enough to whack me upside the head for the same craziness; sweet Aunt Angela, who we beg to make pecan pies to every holiday; Luke, the little cousin who's cute enough to get away with making mischief; Ava, who puts on my makeup when I'm not looking; Uncle Mario, who always says "Ciao, bella," when he hugs; Aunt Angela, who's been all over the world and shares my birthday; Aunt Grace, my scatter-brained, silly, and loving Godmother; Uncle Ignazio, who taught us to sing I Dodici Giorni di Natale; and Marianna, who's kind enough to still hang out with the kiddies even though she's thoroughly a grown-up these days.  

Mr. and Mrs. Gustav Samuel Johannes

And so on and so forth.  Any holiday.  Every holiday.  

6) Company

Go on, roll your eyes.  I wander around humming songs, I quote the lyrics whether or not anyone knows what I'm talking about, and I always cite it as one of the most interestingly interpreted shows ever.  Quite obviously, I'm actually just saying how lucky I was to be a part of Northeastern's fabulous production.  I'm lucky I had so many friends come see it and share the experience with me and I can't wait for the next one.  But seriously, give the show a shot.  

5) Freshman Year Move-Out

No, this wasn't a happy memory.  It was actually one of the saddest days ever, but that was purely because my freshman year was such a good memory--and I mean every minute of it.  The whole feeling of my first year as a Husky is mirrored in how sad I was to leave in April.  I was sad to see the end of all those fantastic times: Zombie musicals, late night Dominoes after MIT parties, hours in the piano rooms, gathering the usual suspects for dinner, movie nights, common room shenanigans, and Trojan War tactics are just a few of the ridiculous happenings that gave flavor to my freshman year.  Moving out was a sad day because it would be the end of those times, but the sadness only reflected how fantastic a year it was.

4) Woodloch Pines

I've written an entire blog about this beautiful little patch of the universe already.  If you don't understand how it can be such a monumental cornerstone in the lives of my family and the Schizzanos by this point, then I can't help you understand anymore.  

3) Getting My Braces Off

The joy of being officially done with all things dental (save for wearing a retainer very night) far exceeded the irritation of my gums bleeding for a few days.  That day was a reflection of all the things my family and I had survived: a year of braces and surgical wires, a six-hour surgery, the most horrible night in the hospital, and weeks of numbness and an all-liquid diet.  Well, I'm still numb, but in the scheme of everything else, I'll take what I can get.  We survived!

2) Delia's Sweet Sixteen

I've written a whole blog on this one too, which you should check out if you haven't.  Here's an abridged version: When a Sweet Sixteen is done right, it's both a party and an emotional experience.  We had a fantastic time at Delia's, dancing and singing, watching the video her friends prepared as a surprise, her emotional candle ceremony (I cried my fake eye lashes off), and taking pictures with the beautiful birthday princess.  We had all of Delia's friends in attendance, plus Chelsea, Sydney, Mr. & Mrs. Schizzano, Miss Denise the ballet 

ACTUALLY a fairy princess.

teacher, all the Brengel cousins (even if the boys were being difficult about dancing), Justin (who let us put a pink crown on him for half a second), the Miliones, the Finellis, and Ginger.  We had our traditional eating leftover food and opening gifts into the wee hours of the morning session afterwards.  It certainly was a fairy-tale of an evening with the whole family.






And the biggest, most monumental moment of my 2012?

1) Moving In for Sophomore Year

I remember crystal clearly that when we drove over the I-90 bridge and the city of Boston came into view, Big City Nights by the Scorpions was playing and I was giddy with excitement to see all my Huskies again.  Maybe I didn't know exactly what was in store for the year but we all knew if it was anything like last year had been, every day would be an adventure.  And every day has been a greater adventure than the last, filled with Photo shoots, Mixfest, TV Show Viewing Parties, Aquarium detours, Birthday dinners, Boston Pops concerts, Holiday festivities, getting dressed up to go teach other's concerts, and  random city excursions.  What's most special about life at Northeastern, though, is how sitting at home playing Cards Against Humanity, improvising ridiculous song lyrics, watching Trapped in the Closet, playing enough music to peel the skin off my fingers, having random dance breaks, or even just catching up on each others' lives over a bowl of cookie dough is just as fulfilling as any big adventure.  I can't confine all the laughing, nerding-out, dancing, teasing, screaming, craziness of life at Northeastern into one concise memory, so instead, my top memory from this year is the giddy anticipation I felt that day in the car for all of the times that would be had.  I can't thank my mom and dad enough for supporting me in my decision to be a Northeastern Husky and I couldn't be more blessed to have met the fantastic people that I did. 

Thank you EVERYONE in my life for all the wonderful things you gave me this year.  It certainly wasn't an easy year, what with a broken jaw, a hurricane, losing two elderly aunts, and the lamentable loss of a friend.  I truly don't know how I'd have gotten through without the support, advice, and warm embraces of all my family and friends.  My resolution for 2013 is to give as much back to you all as you've given me.  



*Editor's Note: Chris dislikes when I refer to him as Chrissy.

A Smattering of the Many Things I'm Grateful For this Thanksgiving

Christmas Trees     Chuck Palahniuk novels     Live music     Spotify     Jello     Mom's homemade mashed potatoes     Late nights watching How I Met Your Mother with Delia     The Thanksgiving Day Parade     Considering myself a part of two of the most beautiful cities in existence     Holy Cross Roman Catholic Church     Doctor Who     How Dad never complains about picking me up from the city     That Sandy killed my backyard but left my house and family in perfect health     The incredible amount of support I've had from countless friends and family lately     Starbucks     Gustav, the most beautiful bass I could have asked for     Halloween candy     Being a part of Company     Every tiny, insignificant thing about Northeastern     That I didn't make the kick line team in ninth grade and became a music kid instead     Slippers     My adorable little cousins     The advice and guidance from my older cousins     Skiing     Drummers     Flat irons      Shredded cheese     Harry Potter books     That of all thirteen schools I applied to, I ended up at Northeastern University     Husky Hunt     Crepes     The Pep Band     Nutella     Northeastern Hockey Games     That Nonni and Nonno and Grandma Mary are healthy and happy as ever     Lifeteen     Seinfeld     e.e. cummings poetry     Cozy sweatshirts     The friends who hugged me when I cried at the cemetery yesterday     Buona Sera garlic knots     That Alice in Wonderland exists    Musicals in and about New York City     My correctly aligned jaw     That my parents met and fell in love and got married and had me to begin with     That Laura is so accommodating about my messiness and wacky music schedule     Wedges and high heels     That 2 am no-boundaries conversation with Meredith the other night     Chinese food     Bruce Springsteen music     Nerdfighter culture     New York pizza     Being Italian     That Eric texts me goodnight, every night    That I loved Smithtown High School West so much     Pit orchestras     Flip Flops     Breaking Amish   Aunt Grace and Uncle Kenny, my godparents     That Chris, Charlie, Peter, Lauren V, Lauren B, Laura, Ryan, Sarah, Andy, Harrison, and Alfred came to see and hear me in Company     Blogger     Disney magic     That Chris would rather spend three hours tutoring me in Stats than be bored while I spend one hour at the professor's Office Hours     Yearbooks     Everything I learned from Aunt Maria while she fought cancer     Billy Joel     Mr. Nolan's English class     EVERYTHING from the Romantic Era     Easter eggs     That I could have made things work at any university, but that things just work beautifully at Northeastern     Delia's dance recitals     Andy's unbiased and unabashed honesty and advice     That Christie, Brianna, and Alissa are at Northeastern too     David Tennant     My beautiful and sexy 616 apartment and even sexier roommates     That Alaric gives the best hugs known to humankind     Orange soda     How beautiful everything looks when it's snowing     Holiday decorations     That Mom cares enough to bug me for every detail of my life     That I've had my heart broken so few times     The unfathomable potential of every human being     Board games     Chick flicks     My room at home     All the wonderful things Sarah bakes     The picture perfect memories from the Last Day of High School, Prom, and Graduation     That there's never been anything I can't confide in my sister     J.K. Rowling's entire life     Crappy magazines like Rolling Stone and Cosmo     Cheesy flamingo memorabilia     Woodloch Pines     My fairy-tale Sweet Sixteen and all the amazing things I learned from having it     That Lauren Bell never gets annoyed at me for asking for Accounting help     Husky Hunt the second time around    That Dad was so thoughtful to pick me up a 7-11 coffee this morning     Cinnabons     June Claire Dance Centers     That even though we're stressed like crazy getting ready to have 18 guests over, we do have 18 happy and healthy guests we love and can't wait to see     Wicked the musical, but also the book because it gave someone the idea for the musical     That Lauren V is always telling me how fantastic and perfect we all are     That Nothing Changes     That I have the two legs, feet, arms, hands, ears, and eyes; ten fingers and toes; and a nose, mouth, and brain that God gave me to appreciate the world with     Finnish power metal     Mark Twain's writing     Tampons     Eye lash curlers     Converse sneakers     Facebook     That Shannon visits so often even though she doesn't live with us     That Ginger could come to both my and my sister's Sweet Sixteen     When Mom gives me a back scratch     Harry Potter World     What the Pluck?!    Living next door to the Geriens     Marshall Half Stacks     That one time I got to play a Juzek bass in a hole-in-the-wall jazz shop     IV Dining hall pizza     Elevators, ramps, the wheels on my bass case, and all the sympathetic people that hold the door open     Eleven years of bus rides with Jacqui     Stetson East cookies     Every piece of music I've ever listened to and every piece that's waiting to be heard     That I have a bed to sleep in every night     Books and sheet music that smell old     Paws the Husky     That my family misses me when I'm gone, and that I miss them too     Fourth of July Fireworks     Italian ices     Everything that's caramel-flavored     Music     Too many perfect Blue Flamingo vacations to count     Rebecca's Cafe brunches with Christie     That Northeastern's campus is so beautiful, especially for a city school     The Charles River    That picture-perfect moment when Train was singing "Drops of Jupiter" and I was standing alone in the rain     The sights, sounds, odds, ends, and quirks of New York City     Every confused morning when the story of last night gets told to me     That Marianna is only ever a text away when I need her     That Delia asked me to be her sponsor     Twitter     Stephen Sondheim     That Uncle Vic married Aunt Terry     Apple picking as a family tradition     Woodloch crumb cake     That so many people cared enough to check on me this summer when my jaw was banded shut     That my jaw was banded shut and my liquid diet lost me fifteen pounds     Rubber ducks     Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky     The fantastic family vacations Mom and Dad work so hard to take us on     That I had my nineteenth birthday this year     102.3 WBAB     My mac     Grimm, Perrault, and Andersen fairy tales     That Gustav and I played at Staller Center, Carnegie Hall, and Lincoln Center together     Sade, my creamsicle colored bass guitar     That Delia still asks for my help picking out outfits     My crazy curly hair     Secret brand deodorant     Aerie underwear     Glitter glue     That I'm part of the Honors Program at such a good school in such a wonderful city     Rebecca's Cafe sandwiches     My job at Au Bon Pain     That I'm so in love with my major, literally every day of my life     The bright walls in my room     The Cousins Day we had at Lorella, Danielle, Bob, and Justin's this summer     Those vacations we took to Montauk with Aunt Angela, Uncle Mario, Marianna, and Alessia all those years ago     That Nonni and Nonno care about their time and resource-consuming grandkids as much as they do     All the Tooth Fairy, Easter bunny, and Santa Claus stories Mom and Dad fabricated so well for us     Cursive handwriting     That I was School President in fifth grade     That Mr. Roth, my middle school orchestra teacher, had such a positive influence on my appreciation for music     The Smithtown West Music Department family     That the twelve basses I was Section Leader to still call me Mom     Old photos     The Doll House Nonno made for me and Deels     That Nonni taught me how to sew     Grilled cheese sandwiches     Leonardo DiCaprio movies     All the hours they tolerate my presence in the Duplex     All the classy literature and art and music Danielle and I obsess over     Everything I learned my freshman year of college; in the classroom, about life, and about myself     The entertaining antics of Alfred and Harrison     My friendship with Mary, even if it's so much more difficult to maintain since she moved to North Carolina seven years ago     Sweet Sixteen Season     My twin, Brian     Thelemon-scented candle Mrs. Ralph bought me     The purple V neck that Richie wears     That Brianna, Rebecca, Danielle, and Sean called to check on me last Thursday     Ms. Riccoboni's Italian class     Winky, my little Nissan Altima that's as old as I am     Springy beds     Fan fiction     Bananas     That Mike is so good at pestering me to keep in touch with him     Family Gatherings on every Holiday we can     Lindt chocolate     New York bagels     Becca-Brina Christmases     That Tasha was an awesome freshman year roommate     The Blue Flamingo Tradition     The Northeastern bass family: Peter, Colin, Jason, and me     Cold weather     That Lauren kept me company when I sadly and slowly packed up my life in 933 IV last April     That Rebecca knows how much I love and need her, even when I'm God awful at keeping in touch     That Deels and Alex became friends, and then so did Sarah and I over a Play-Doh bakery in fourth grade     That Kimmie and I grew a beautiful friendship out of seeing each other once a week at tap class     Rod McKuen's writing     That Alyssa lived around the block from me in Kindergarten     Sudoku     Carlsson bass rosin     Centennial Quad     How beautiful and quirky Beacon Hill is     New England Clam Chowder     The memory of Deels and I staring jaw-dropped at each other when Daniel Radcliffe got hoisted into the air for the Opening scene of How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying     Condiments with Joanna     The Port Jeff ferry     Huntington Avenue     Upton Basses in Mystic, Connecticut     Diaries     My signed copy of Diary, the book     Reeds from Palm Sunday     Northeastern's Husky Hockey team and the hot hockey players     How beautiful Boston is     The T     The way Rebecca and Mike wiped away the tears during our last Adoration together     The fantastic inside jokes Paige and Danielle and I had in Mr. (CrapICan'tRemeberHisName)'s AP Euro class Tenth Grade     Harry Potter as a cultural phenomenon     Eoin Colfer and the Artemis Fowl series     Gas stations     Vanity Plates     Paved roads     That I've never had to go hungry     Charities     The BSO and Boston Pops     The Lilac-themed tea house Brian and I went to for lunch one time     The feeling of being a Goddess when you shave your legs     The color of Dan Frank's hair at prom     The Lifeteen Core that still inspire me     The amazing evening the five of us girls saw Legally Blonde together     That there's a Heaven waiting for all the loved ones I've lost     Rosaries     That Aunt Maria, Aunt Ruth, Uncle George, Grandpa Ken, and Katie will always be a part of me on some level     The feeling of being hugged by someone who loves you     The number of family members and friends I love and who love me back     The way two people's faces light up when they see each other after a long time apart     All the things I take for granted     Every kind of love

And most importantly, I'm thankful for everyone I've ever met because whether you suspect it or not, you've influenced me along the way to becoming the person I am today.  I can't thank you enough for helping me into living the life I do.  

Thank you.

I've had it with you and your emotional constipation!

So I've been watching Brand X lately and am moderately entertained by some episodes.  Yes, he tries way too hard and therefore undermines his own effect, but he's actually cleverer when he gets on a roll, in ways I can't quote on my mindfully-tongued blog.  He's honest and eager to connect with the audience, and was even surprisingly respectful while talking about the Aurora shooting a few weeks ago. He had a criminologist, a writer (of the show Sons of Anarchy), a former member of the army, and professional athlete with a troubled past each weigh in on the poor life choices and influences that must have led to the incident.  I'm looking forward to seeing his show improve, or at least I hope it will.  He's Russell Brand after all.  I love him blindly and am just looking for validation.

I think reading the Harry Potter books for all my childhood has actually affected my writing style.  See, I'm devouring The Sketch Book of Washington Irving, who was born in New York the year the Treaty of Paris was signed ending the American Revolution.  He grew up in a time when, despite our newfound independence, Britain still held a lot of influence all over the world, culturally as well as in other ways.  As such, British literature has always been a global treasure, something Irving was keenly aware of.  He travelled to England many times in his life, even doing much of his writing there, where he could "lose [him]self among the shadowy grandeurs of the past."  My point is, I find his meticulously-worded, winding sentences beautiful stylistically.  They sound like those written by equally high-minded and esteemed, if not more so, British writers Lewis Carroll (Charles Dodgson) and J. M. Barrie.  My goal has always been to sound as sophisticated when I speak as they do.  

Anyone seen the movie?
I really should have by now,especially with my Disney and
children's literature track records.

On an unrelated note, I can never remember whether it's Washington Irving or Irving Washington.  I blame this entirely on that damn book Catch-22 and that part when--who is it?--Major Major or Chaplain Tappman or Captain Aardvark or whoever it was switches them backwards and forwards to use as pen names. 

I'm on a Paloma Faith kick lately, which was relevant last Sunday when The Amazing Seven (we missed you Alyssa!) took a trip into the city. 

She stood so tall and she never slept,
There was not one moment he could regret He'd left me for another lady Her name was New York, New York, And she took his heart away, oh my!Her name was New York, New York, She had poisoned his sweet mind

Pretty song, pretty voice.  We had a lovely day-- Chelsea, Christie, Sarah D, Cristina, Paige, Sarah F, and I took an early train in, walked the Highline park, wandered down near the pier, took the Subway up to Times Square, ogled through the Disney Store for the umpteenth time, enjoyed a well-timed, satisfying, and cost-efficient lunch at Olive Garden, walked to Central Park to hang out and watch an acrobatics show, admire the corner on which Central Perk from Friends fictionally exists, and then spent lots of money on candy at Dylan's Candy Bar before subway-ing it back to Penn.  We were utterly exhausted by this point, but I did allow myself to be bullied into making an account on the Instagram machine.  It's a fun little toy, but won't get used much since I don't even own a camera, that's how not into taking pictures I am.

Can you say favorite store ever?
Shame all their stuff is so pricey.

We also had the epic conclusion of our summer Harry Potter Book Club this week.  this consisted of Jacqui, Rebecca, Andrea and me dressing as characters from the seventh book and marathon-ing our way through both movies, holding an intermission to concoct Nutella milkshakes and watch Aly Raisman dominate the floor exercises.  We've had six other movie nights on our journey through the series, which included such memorable moments as criticizing Harry's over-done eyebrows, drooling over the hot grown up versions of the Hogwarts students, the meta nature of Lockhart having a painting of himself painting a portrait of himself, and, of course, the "Nice side bangs, Snape," moment, as well as multiple AVPM and AVPS references.  Tuesday night takes the (rock) cake as being the most exciting of our movie nights though, as it was also a costume party.  I had planned on doing my usual Bellatrix spiel, just because I'm so good at it but my hair happened to be leftover straight from Manhattan on Sunday.  I broke out an old blonde curly wig and rocked the Luna Lovegood, going so far as to paint over my eyebrows.  It was a good time.  Andrea, being fun-sized, actually made a dress out of a pillowcase and came with a sock in hand.  Any guesses?  With her hair in adorable "bat-like ear" looking pigtails, she pulled off the cutest Dobby ever.  Rebecca already had the correct-length blonde hair for her character: trench coat, ripped jeans (though maybe she just doesn't own whole ones), facial scars, and an out-of control, non-proportioned electric blue eye patch.  Yupp, Mad-Eye Moody.  And Jacqui shocked us all by dressing up even though she's never read or, for that matter, shown any interest in the series.  She came in a white denim skirt and white tank top, with feathers glued to her eyebrows, arms, chest, and stuck in her ponytail. Obviously, she was an innovative take on Hedwig.  Great job ladies!  It's worth pointing out that mine was the only character to survive both movies.  Hell, Luna's the only one to survive the first of the two movies too.  Hah.

CONTINUITYYYYYY

And I cried as irrational an amount as ever.  I have such a problem.

I can't work in fast food all my life...

I kind of wanted to do a legitimate review of The Da Vinci Code because it was such a riveting read, but it's also a profoundly controversial one.  I don't want to offend anyone, so I'll just touch on why I was so engrossed by it.  The books I get most attached to make a point of developing characters and fostering all kinds of relationships between them.  This did nothing like that.  The only character that was developed at all was Leigh Teabing, and even that was only to heighten the intensity of a later plot twist.  The only semblance of characters interacting in a way that wasn't directly necessary for the progression of the plot was a kiss between the two protagonists in the last chapter of the book.  It's completely unprecedented.  Readers may suspect this is coming because that's precisely what happened between Robert Langdon and Vittoria in Angels and Demons, which was Dan Brown's first Langdon-narrated novel.  Nothing ever came of that from the first book to this one, and Langdon often reflects on being used to life as a bachelor.  There's exactly one moment, when Langdon smells Sophie's perfume, that he appears to take any notice of her as a person.  This lack of human development is something plenty of good books can have, but it's not something I've found in any of my favorite reads before.  I guess I'm just shocked that a book with virtually no characterization or human element could hold my attention so strongly.  


That aside, The Da Vinci Code is an eye-opening read because it's so rooted in facts and history.  After finishing, I did a lot of reading into the Gnostic Gospels, the Merovingian dynasty, and the real Priory of Sion.  There are varying amounts of historical evidence for all of these, which was intriguing to learn of.  Despite conspiracy theories and pseudo-historical claims, I really recommend this book.  Just go in with an open mind and be prepared to sort out your own thoughts afterwards.


Gosh, that took longer than I imagined it was going to for not even being a full review. 




Now onto more mundane and happy topics!


Happy Birthday to my beautiful and beloved (and thoroughly missed) Shannon!  Nineteen and Crazy indeed!


Saturday was also Sydney's Sweet Sixteen.  I've been to precisely 13 formal Sweet Sixteens with ball-gown-and-tiara-wielding birthday girls.  Generally, these are preppy occasions.  I've seen dresses in red, orange, gold, green, aqua, teal, purple, fuchsia, hot pink, baby pink, and white.  Girls usually walk in to pop songs like "Gotta Feelin'," "When I Grow Up," or "Party," or equally peppy songs related to the party's theme, like "Supermodel," (Fashion) or "Ever Ever After," (Disney Princesses).  I hadn't been to a single party where the birthday girl didn't do a full or partial updo accompanied by curling iron curls.  
I really have to commend Sydney on throwing a definitively Sydney party.  Very few girls could pull off wearing black at their own parties, entering with a complete Thriller dance number, and requesting songs like "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and "Sell Out."  Her hair was pulled back just enough that she wouldn't get sweaty on the dance floor, and it was her customary straight, dark red.  I'm just very impressed by how atypically she designed her red, black, and gold Masquerade-themed party.  I'm really proud of her.  I remember the days when our parents would go out to dinner and leave Chelsea, Sydney, Deels, Eric and me at one of our houses and we'd be ridiculous and crazy together for hours at a time.  Remember that time we heard Jake (their dog) running up and down the stairs, and we though he was a burglar?  It was super S's to the rescue that day, armed with brooms and rakes against a cocker spaniel.  Seeing Sydney all grown up and lady-like made me feel nostalgic, but also proud that our families have been so involved with each other for over a decade.  That connection is really special, and I'm beyond honored that we were called up for a candle.  
Basically, Sydney, I loved the unique quality of your party and I'm honored to have been a part of it.  I love you guys a lot and I can't wait until Woodloch 2012!


On an even more mundane note, I today was lovely.  We saw The Avengers which was stunning to watch, even if it didn't have the most clever or original plot.  I say "stunning" because the graphics were unreal.  If you plan on seeing it, it's worth spending the money to see it on the big screen.  Also, Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans are wonderful to look at.  A side note would be that I do agree with Andy: some of the dialogue was painful to listen to.  Some though, usually any involving Iron Man (played by Robert Downey Jr., for those living under a rock), were witty enough.  I then did like 10 minutes of Zumba to let off steam and then helped my sister with her Trig homework.  I'm so proud of myself for recalling enough math to actually be helpful! Who knew?  


In other news, I've lost 10 pounds on my all-liquids diet, and have reduced my Advil intake from 90 milliliters a day to 50.  I'm allowed to sleep in my own bed again, and no more decongestants either!  I still can't drive, speak properly, or eat regularly, but we're getting there.  My next check-up is Thursday, which means that with any luck, I can progress to soft foods.  Having pastina on my birthday would make my life much more pleasurable at this point in time.  


I'm having video issues with my beautiful Boston friends, so I'm finishing this blog instead of hanging out with them in Google Plus for a few minutes to give my lazy computer a break.  It should be good now, or so I hope.  Until next time, my darlings.

“Telling someone about what a symbol means is like telling someone how music should make them feel.”

I feel so loved lately.  I want to thank everyone again for the cards, flowers, and messages I've been lucky to receive.  This would be infinitely harder if I didn't know how much love and support my family, friends, and community have for me.  Thank you all so, SO much! <3


So proud of my Blueshirt boys!  Also, I want a Staal brother.  My sister claimed Carl Hagelin back when he was still a draft, so any Staal that isn't already married, I'll gladly take.  


Side note-- I feel WAY less bad about all the losing Northeastern did to Boston College since Kreider is now a solid rock on the Rangers.  We'll get 'em next year, Huskies. 


I can't wait to be back during hockey season at Northeastern.   Pep band and hockey and then all may frandz hangin out an bein silly afterwards sounds delightful.  


Besides the mouth situation (it feels like I'm walking around with a cinderblock clamped between my jaws), my days have been enjoyable.  I've been watching lots of Friends, Seinfeld, and How I Met Your Mother.  Additionally, I'm about a hundred pages away from finishing The Da Vinci Code, which is an utterly fantastic read.  It's been a long time since I've read something so gripping.  It's not my usual genre or style, so I'm intrigued by my own interest in the thing.  It's a historical fiction novel that calls the Roman Catholic Church--not the Catholic faith, but the historical administration of the church-- into serious questioning via ACTUAL secret societies, historical events, histories of symbols and icons, and seemingly insignificant details in the masterpieces of Da Vinci.  Where fact and fiction collide, I'm starting to wonder.  I may do some research once I finish this thing.  After this, it's back to Dante's Inferno, then a short novel by the author of Life of Pi, entitled Beatrice and Virgil.  I'm interested since those are the names of Dante's (sort-of) lover and guardian angel, respectively.  It's actually about a donkey and a monkey, but with a title like that, there must be some interesting connections.  


Also, with so much focus on the Holy Grail in Da Vinci Code, I was inspired to watch Monty Python for the first time.  It is very, very silly.  I was caught off-guard by the "Sir Galahad, the Chaste."  WHERE did "Why, Mister Galahad..." come from, Andy?!  On that note, I love the titles of Andy's blog entries, even though (or especially because?) they don't make sense until you finish reading the blog.  The most recent, entitled something to do with "48 Johannas" got me really excited momentarily.  Having 47 other Sabrinas wandering around could be totally entertaining.


So with all this loafing around and having my butt planted in a recliner LITERALLY 18 hours a day, I'm still managing to lose weight thanks to the "chicken soup and chocolate milk" diet.  I'm down six and a half pounds from Surgery Day!  At roughly 1000 liquid calories plus about a liter of liquid medications dispersed over each day, I am starting to miss real food.  Today was the first day I've been properly hungry since the surgery.  I guess that means my body's that much closer to being normal again, but being able to WANT food again puts me no closer to being ABLE to eat food again.  Other things are pretty much normal again-- swelling has gone down intensely, I can shower normally, no dizzy or light-headed spells, and I'm even feeling good enough to do my hair and makeup again.  I'm thinking it'll get much better after this first week.  Apparently during the surgery, my jaw shattered in an extra spot, meaning the process took an extra hour and I have one more titanium bracket than was planned.  I should have come out able to open to my jaw but I've been instructed not to.  I visit the doctor tomorrow, so we'll see what changes in my diet and abilities.  


If I try really hard, smelling good food is almost as good as having some.  For instance, last night we got Greek takeout for Mother's Day.  Just sitting there and basking in all the aromas of what I'm sure was a delicious meal for everyone else without gorging on the exorbitant amount of calories I surely would have incurred if I'd been capable to eat was almost even refreshing!  Even now, as Dad and Eric munch on Doritos during Period Three of Game One of the Eastern Conference Finals (Rangers and Devils at MSG), I can enjoy them without bearing the burden of 600 extra calories.  I realize this is the flimsiest silver lining ever, but for a girl who has 44 more days until her eating habits can return to normal, it's the best I can do.  


My biggest complaint after the pain, discomfort, and medication schedule is how removed I feel from real life.  I haven't left the house or hung out with anyone in the last six days, save 20 minutes of catching up with Rebecca and a lot of time with my surgeon.  I haven't seen anyone from Northeastern or Smithtown in person, giving me this weird sense of reclusiveness from everything.  As soon as my face stops looking like a teenage mutant ninja turtle, I'm excited to reinitiate Google Plus video chats with my Tremont Street Raiders and future Suities and have all my beloved Smithtown sweethearts come visit me.  Cheers, guys!

Reader, this is an honest blog.

After This I'm Harry Potter-ed Out. LOL JK NEVER.

WE NOW PRESENT THE SEVENTH AN FINAL INSTALLMENT IN THE EPIC ANALYSIS OF HARRY POTTER.


DOES EVERYONE SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

To Recap:

Pros:

-BRILLIANT soundtrack.  John Williams did a fantastic job of setting up the main themes in the first three films (The third was particularly dynamic, and part of why this is my favorite movie is the fantastic soundtrack.  I should write an essay on the influence each of the directors has had... Anyway, I recommend sampling the middle of all the songs.  You can find all the soundtracks organized and available for free listening on Spotify.)   Then Patrick Doyle's takes on the Quidditch World Cup, Yule Ball, and Three Tasks in Goblet of Fire were absolutely superb (Wizard Rock is also fun), but Nicholas Hooper rather dropped the ball in Order of the Phoenix and Half Blood Prince.  Don't misunderstand me: These pieces of music are beautiful as well as beautifully performed, but they don't have the same charm as their predecessors do, and don't work in the context of a soundtrack.  The music became less musical and more like a stream of sound effects in places.  Alexandre Desplat rather confuses me.  I enjoy his themes and variations, but dislike the general path the soundtrack takes for Part One.  It's just kind of generic.  Part Two, however, had wonderful interpretations of all Williams' main themes.  Everything from Lily's Theme to A New Beginning, the final track of Part Two, consists of an ideal blend of Hollywood drama, pleasingness to the ear, and a high level of musicality.  If I may make a suggestion, I'd listen to a New BEginning all the way through rather than just sampling it.  Listen attentively, not passively.  It's beautiful and perfect for the moment it portrays.  The same applies to this last musical link.  The coupling of the Epilogue with a freshly arranged version of Williams's Leaving Hogwarts, the former final track in the first film, is highly poignant and expressive.  A New Beginning and Leaving Hogwarts, right after each other, always leave me with tears running down my face and, to me, present a simultaneously emotional, visionary, heartbreaking, and heartwarming finale to the epic series.  Hats off to Mr. Desplat for his work on these two films.


(^^Guys, I cried writing this section.  Music and Harry Potter?  My two favorite things, together?  Was there really a doubt?)

-Tons of direct quotes.  All our favorites were there: "Here lies Dobby, a free elf."  "If we die for them, I'm gonna kill you, Harry!"  " 'After all this time?' 'Always.' "  " 'Does it hurt, dying?'  'Quicker than falling asleep.' "  " 'You'll stay with me?' 'Until the very end.' "  "NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!" "Do not pity the dead, Harry.  Pity the living and, above all, those who live without love."  My personal favorite: "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on Earth should that mean that it is not real?"  And they finally threw in: "You have your mother's eyes," from the right person, at the right time, even if it was not strictly cannon.  

-Covered plot decently.  A lot does happen in the last 300 pages, and Kloves does get us there in the end.  The right people lived and died in the right manner, the Gringotts heist and escape were loyal to the book, the horcruxes were the correct items destroyed in the correct order, the drastic changes in Hogwarts policies were noted, Helena Ravenclaw helped Harry when he needed her, the Room of Requirement went up in flames properly, the Deathly Hallows were (somewhat) explained, Snape's death was as cruel as it was written to be, Snape's memories were wonderfully poignant, the Resurrection Stone was used properly, Harry spoke to Dumbledore at Kings Cross in his head, and Harry was the owner of the Elder Wand, allowing him to beat Voldemort.  All the elements were there.  

Cons:

-Forgotten-about details.  In a book, you have to have all loopholes closed, and J.K. did that excellently.  When you translate to the screen, many of the small details are unnecessary and are assumed to be accounted for.  It seemed like a huge deal when, during Half Blood Prince, Kloves skipped most of the memories pertaining to Voldemort's ascent to power.  In the last two films, though, most of the lost information is glossed over and the deduction of correct answers are attributed to Hermione's brilliant guesswork and Harry's connection to horcruxes (because you know, they sing to him).   

-All the good scenes they changed.  I personally love the scene in Ravenclaw tower, for example.  It's much more suspenseful than his stepping out from the crowd to chastise Snape.  Instead of Fred telling his last joke, you see him cowering in fear.  That is not how a Weasley would cope.  They weirded up Ron and Hermione's kiss.  That was unforgivable. (The use of any unforgivable... sorry, I had to.)  Harry's dramatic speech in the Great Hall in which he addresses Voldemort as Tom Riddle in from of the whole school and Order disappeared.  We rather needed it there to explain how the hell Harry was still alive.  Also, it would have taken about ten more seconds to add in Harry repairing his wand at the end.  The movies don't even show how problematic the Elder Wand is, with all the bloodlust it attracts, so to non-readers, snapping it was a bit overdramatic on Harry's part.  This is a much more petty point, but since when does Hogwarts have a boat house?  It's not like they've got a sailing team or any team besides Quidditch.  

-The meaning of the book was lost.  The book is entitled Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, yet the hallows make very few appearances.  Taking a step back, we also lose a lot of what we're supposed to learn about Dumbledore's family.  Although this isn't a huge part of the plot, it contributes a lot to how we feel about Dumbledore, power, love, and the power of love.  We learn that Dumbledore's weakness is his affinity for power, and that this is why he cannot be the master of all three Deathly Hallows.  Who can unite all three hallows then and become master, conqueror, vanquisher of death?  Why, Harry, of course.  The term Master of Death refers to Harry's ability to use the three hallows to greet death as a friend, to embrace it.  Harry chooses to walk to his own death to save those he loves.  Because Harry can do this, his life is spared.  It’s less about him surviving because he is the wizard that owns the Elder Wand, as the movie plot tells us, and more about the very human quality of being able to love strongly.  What the book teaches us is that the ability to love is stronger than magic in the end.  Those who have read the books know this already, but those who haven't will miss a major message by only seeing the movie.   

In my professional opinion, I’ve given up thinking about whether the movie is effective or not.  What matters is that we, the readers, or audience, or both, understand what J.K. Rowling clearly tells us: Love is all you need.  We all get attached to the very Romantic ideas of magic and Hogwarts and crusading for what’s right, and get caught up in the pen and paper world Rowling has offered us.  Quite apart from how heartwarming and fulfilling it would be to live in Harry’s world, love is all we need.  Nothing more, nothing less.  

Epilogue.  


Nobody likes the epilogue.  More than anything else though, it's incredibly sentimental that Harry, Ron, and Hermione return to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters as adults, the place where they actually broke the barrier that divides everything mundane that they knew from a whole unknown world they choose to dive into.  The number 9 3/4 is the most emotionally charged symbol in the whole series in my humble opinion.  Many people characterize the series by the Deathly Hallows symbol and accredit it for encompassing so much significance, but I disagree.  I’d poured six years of my life into Harry’s world before knowing that that symbol existed.  That symbol does represent Harry’s ability to face death due to his extreme capacity to love.  This is a major theme in the series, obviously, yet it’s less poignant than the sign in Kings Cross for Platform Nine and Three-Quarters.  Kings Cross is a train station, the starting point of a journey.  Rowling alludes to this by setting the scene that takes place in Harry’s head at the station.  Now imagine being eleven and running toward a brick wall.  How exciting, how beautiful would it be to charge straight through and embark on a voyage into the wild and untamed and unpredictable unknown?  Some days that's all I want.  I want to lose the mundane and familiar things.  I want my own personal platform nine and three-quarters to open up a gateway to somewhere full of big adventures and dreams, somewhere where I'm small compared to the rest of the world, and somewhere I can achieve more than I've ever conceived of.  And yet, how ungrateful, how ignorant of me.  Look out a window.  I don't need that gateway because I'm already in that world.  J.K. Rowling said it nicely: "We do not need magic to transform our world.  We carry all the power we need inside ourselves already." 

Always.