Ciao, friends. This is a comprehensive, non-exclusive list of what feminism is not about, contrary to popular belief:
-It is not about burning your bras.
-It is not about harboring hatred or resentment toward men.
-It is not a condescension for women who shave, wear makeup, or appear feminine.
-It is not a movement against stay-at-home moms.
-It is not about being a strong, independent woman WHO DON’T NEED NO MAN.
-It is not necessarily about being pro-choice.
-It is not angry or vengeful.
-It is not about putting the needs of women above the needs of men or any other group.
-It is not about emasculating men in our society.
-It is not about choosing between building a career and building a family.
-It is not about rejecting or neglecting female sexuality.
-It is not about scoffing at women who are in love or at happy couples of any gender.
-It is not an exclusively female-driven movement.
The actual dictionary-definition of feminism, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Dictionary.com, Th
Would you look at that? It turns out there is no clause detailing a radical, angry, hairy, manly shrew of a woman as the mascot of this movement. Huh.
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| Funnily enough, the same thing happened to me. |
What choice do I have? I'm not offended to be called a feminist. On the contrary, I readily identify as one. What hurts is the isolating way that people accuse me of feminism. Feminist, a dirty insult. The people who do this are people who love me and care about me, but then roll their eyes at the F-word.
Being a feminist means nothing more or less than believing in the equal worth of men and women. That is it. You don’t have to do anything about it, like walk in activist marches or protest the beauty standard or read up on feminist theory. Nothing. You certainly can, and belief in feminism does inspire powerful action and progress for many, but living honestly is also enough. And while there are many ways to believe in feminism, the most basic thing it means to be a feminist is that you are not a sexist. Face it, friend: you’re probably a feminist.
We’re all taught to treat men and women differently, and all of us, even women, develop gender biases. (For example, this clip, if you haven’t seen it, nails some double standards.) If you do believe in the economic, political, and social equality of men and women, maybe you can look out for your own subtle gender biases. In order to work toward a more equal world, we have to educate ourselves on an individual level, so I’m speaking directly to you, dear reader. Don't be a sheep. Let’s try to be objective and re-examine our gender-based expectations.
I'm out to de-stigmatize the word feminist, one stubborn opinion at a time. Are you with me? Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. If you're rolling your eyes right now, that's an even better reason for us to talk about it. Let's even fight about it! Who doesn't love a spirited debate?
I just wanted you to know how I feel. I sincerely hope this is the beginning of a new conversation. Thanks for hearing me out.
It was hardly a year ago that Meredith first asked me if I considered myself a feminist. Like many women afraid of the negative archetype, I copped out: "I'm not a feminist, but…" followed by an egalitarian (and therefore feminist) sentiment. Mer kindly explained my own misconceptions to me, and I eventually had my click moment. Of course I'm a feminist! What rational person wouldn't be?! A few months later, when Shelby asked me the same question, I was happy to answer in the affirmative and start talking about what it means to #LeanIn. Meredith and Shelby: Thanks for asking me the right questions at the right time.
POST POST SCRIPT
Feminism is especially not about burning bras. We need those babies for support! If anything, feminism is about building better bras! I mean this partly literally, but mostly in a societal sense: we need better support for women who find themselves at a disadvantage simply for being women. Just sayin'.
Well said Honey - count me in!
ReplyDeleteOh honey, how blind you are.
ReplyDeleteDo you know why there is such a strong call for feminism today? It's because feminism defeats itself. It is it's own worst enemy. There are too many people supporting all different types of feminism, and groups like rad fems are bringing it down. Feminism as a whole will never agree on what to do and that's why feminism will never amount to anything more than an annoyance.
Hola Anonymous, I'm pleased to make your acquaintance!
DeleteFeminists, like the rest of the human population, come in all shapes and sizes and flavors. Feminism has its radicals just like any other movement, but they may not fit the caricature that I believe many people are envisioning, so I just wanted to point out the core belief that brought us all together in the first place. If we can each focus on the idea that men and women are of inherently equal worth--'we' being all people who believe in this core tenet, which, if you'll indulge me, I will assume includes yourself--we can each do our own part to make this idea a reality. It's a slow-going process, but it's a start! What else am I missing in my blind naiveté?
Let's talk about it. I would love nothing more than to really get into this, anonymously or personally. Thanks again for reading!
Sabrina, you're my kind of (feminist) girl! Unfortunately, there are those who would prefer to vilify any movement that THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND. It is a fact that most original movements were created in the best interest of the public but were eventually trashed by the only word you thought of - radicals. All people being equal ,men and women. Hmmm. Seems to me that we have been trying to prove that since the beginning of time. Good luck to you my dear bassgirl granddaughter.
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